Love is Lord.: shortbreadsh: getmetoanunnery: To fellow Catholics: when did emotional...

I guess I just don’t see that as a “chastity” issue. It’s imprudent, perhaps, and disordered in that you are forming disordered attachments. But it’s not a chastity issue.

When it’s a chastity issue, it automatically becomes objectively sinful. So we’re teaching girls and women (not boys and men) that they are sinful for an involuntary, amoral and learned behavior. We’re conditioned from a young age to think that our wholeness hinges on a romantic attachment. And that’s not coming from the Church, or at least it shouldn’t be. That’s coming from a post-Enlightenment Western perspective (can anyone think of a shorter word for that, also beginning with P?).

Then, rogue catechists, “apologists”, youth ministers, etc who are influenced by that post-enlightenment western perspective, give the post-enlightenment western answer: women are weak and have to worry about extra sins that don’t affect men.

When we treat the problem you describe as a chastity issue (which it isn’t), we also prevent ourselves from being able to address it effectively. All we get is a bunch of beaten down young women in the confessional pouring their hearts out about wanting to be loved even though they have been taught that they are unloveable. And that’s a sad image, not a healthy one. A healthy image of the church is one where women and men frequent confessionals and are honest about the fact that they both experience and act on lust, among other things.

What’s the point of causing guilt where guilt doesn’t belong? Yes, you should work on building yourself up so that you don’t feel tempted to give your heart to every guy. But you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. And when you tack on the word “unchaste” to something, guilt comes with it.

Our puritanical background (hey there’s one P word that would have worked!) has unfortunately resulted in every sin being turned into a chastity related sin. And there are other sins/moral issues!

The language of the church is pretty smart a lot of the time (granted, not all of it) since it’s had so long to stew, but this language of ‘emotional chastity’ is extremely novel and smells of the P-word.


But that’s just my $.02

(Source: getmetoanunnery)

Notes

  1. awkwardbutaccurate reblogged this from shortbreadsh and added:
    Yeah exactly! Plus I struggle enough with actual chastity issues that I just don’t have the energy to feel bad about...
  2. cuppboard reblogged this from shortbreadsh and added:
    This is an interesting conversation. I love it.
  3. shortbreadsh reblogged this from awkwardbutaccurate and added:
    Everything she said. Not to mention,...can’t imagine any confessor I’ve ever gone
  4. awkwardbutaccurate reblogged this from approximatelyinfinity and added:
    just don’t see that as a “chastity” issue. It’s imprudent, perhaps, and disordered in that you are forming disordered...
  5. approximatelyinfinity reblogged this from awkwardbutaccurate and added:
    ‘emotional chastity’ either,...unhear about it because
  6. awkwardbutaccurate reblogged this from shortbreadsh and added:
    I had never heard of ‘emotional chastity’ either, and now I wish I could unhear about it because I haven’t stopped...
  7. shortbreadsh reblogged this from lilacturtl
  8. suavefantasy reblogged this from badwolfcomplex
  9. lightedthoughts reblogged this from badwolfcomplex
  10. lilacturtl reblogged this from shortbreadsh and added:
    I had never heard of “emotional chastity” until today (though if I had imagined such a thing I would have assumed it was...
  11. straightawaydangerous reblogged this from themorningstars and added:
    Then I guess we’re on the same page with different words! :)
  12. themorningstars reblogged this from straightawaydangerous and added:
    Oh, no, I think you’re right! I definitely think the term was introduced to do just what you said: to point out that...
  13. themorningstars reblogged this from shortbreadsh and added:
    I think this is a really good question. I’m no theologian, but my sense is: it’s not so much about the fact that you’re...
  14. lovecastsoutfear reblogged this from badwolfcomplex
  15. badwolfcomplex reblogged this from themorningstars
  16. getmetoanunnery reblogged this from shortbreadsh and added:
    As my SD says, temptation is not a sin. The sin is the sin. It is all in how we deal with the temptations. And so many...
  17. shortbreadsh reblogged this from themorningstars and added:
    Serious question: How is daydreaming about marrying and having a family with someone unchaste? Unless it becomes a...
  18. straightawaydangerous reblogged this from themorningstars and added:
    I disagree. I love this term. I don’t think it was meant to be about separating chastity, but merely pointing out that...
  19. themorningstars reblogged this from shortbreadsh and added:
    Yep, I definitely agree with this. I think it’s actually false to separate chastity into categories—you know, physical...
  20. gonnagetmysoulfree reblogged this from shortbreadsh and added:
    not just any feelings, but tilde feelings! ~~~~~~ us women and our tilded emotional desires which can only be sated...
  21. freyatlast said: I like it when it’s turned on boys: emotional modesty means not accumulating tons of girl-buddies who listen to your problems and bake for you and give and give and give while you go on blithely non-committed. ie. getting a pseudo-gf. happened to me.
  22. yourejustlikeme reblogged this from shortbreadsh
  23. getmetoanunnery reblogged this from shortbreadsh and added:
    It’s so aggravating! It’s a bit frightening how they are so obsessed with getting a “holy husband” that they forget...
  24. stine-key said: it’s a new-ish thing once people realized that they needed something to go with the “visual” chastity stuff they yell at boys about. And it’s kind of a problem with silly teenage girls getting obsessed with a guy. Twilight, anyone?
  25. shortbreadsh reblogged this from getmetoanunnery and added:
    I feel like it just plays into the idea that like… actual chastity isn’t an issue for girls. Because girls don’t want to...
  26. getmetoanunnery posted this